Tag: Satire

acuface

NCCIH Announces Development of Revolutionary “Needleless” Acupuncture System

The NCCIH has announced the development of a revolutionary form of "needleless" acupuncture that may soon replace the use of surgical-grade, .25 millimeter thick stainless steel needles that have been in use for millennia.

/ May 19, 2017
Facehugger plush

Science-Based Satire: Invertebrate Research Reveals Clue to Evolutionary Origins of the Chiropractic Subluxation

New evidence calls into question the belief that chiropractic subluxations require a spine, much to the relief of millions of suffering invertebrate species.

/ January 13, 2017
friendly_pumpkin

Naturopaths Warn Parents of Halloween Candy Dangers

[Ed. Note: Dr. Jones had a Halloween-themed post in mind; so he and Dr. Gorski have basically switched places just for this week. Expect Dr. Gorski’s post later this week.] Columbus, OH – Experts from the Columbus Naturopathic Medicine Center are warning parents of the dangers that may be waiting for their children on Halloween night, dangers like high-fructose corn syrup, gluten,...

/ October 31, 2016

Robotically-Assisted Acupuncture Brings Ancient Healing Technique Into the 21st Century

Developed over many thousands of years (or maybe a little less), what has come to be known as traditional Chinese acupuncture has proven capable of curing or at least ameliorating the symptoms of a variety of medical conditions. But one of its greatest strengths, the intimate connection between the practitioner and the acupuncture needle, is also one of its most significant weaknesses....

/ July 15, 2016

Hiring a Doula for Dental Procedures

Suzy Flanders had always dreamed of having a natural tooth extraction without pain medications, sedation, or local anesthesia, just like in the Bible or on an episode of Keeping Up With Kardashians. “When the day finally came on April 1st 2011, and my dentist recommended the removal of an impacted third molar, I almost couldn’t believe it,” Flanders explained. “After reading everything...

/ April 8, 2016

Alternative Medical Alert Systems in the News

Belvidere, NE- Bref Albright was taking an unfamiliar route home from work because of a stalled 18-wheeler when he passed by the cell phone tower. As the electromagnetic field washed over him, symptoms of his sensitivity quickly set in. He first noticed a tingling sensation throughout his body and an odd dryness in his mouth and throat. Then nausea and headache. Once...

/ February 13, 2015
thich_quang_duc_self-immolation

Improperly Performed Acupuncture Linked to Spontaneous Human Combustion

Experts in traditional Chinese medicine are warning patients to avoid unlicensed acupuncture practitioners after an apparent case of spontaneous human combustion. Baton Rouge, LA-When investigators climbed from out of the smoldering debris that was the home of Hank Thomas, the looks on their faces told the gathering crowd what these hardened veterans of the Baton Rouge Fire Department couldn’t put into words....

/ August 16, 2013
MitchellandWebb

“Lifestyle nutritionists”…Mitchell and Webb strike again

Mitchell and Webb take a shot at lifestyle nutritionists. It's hilarious.

/ July 14, 2009