What if people thought about pediatric cancer the way they do pediatric COVID-19? A satirical argument to stop treating children for cancer.
Are dogs being trained to detect subtle chiropractic subluxations? If so, can they really outperform the Subluxatron 9000-X? And what about cats? These questions and more won't be answered by this post, because it's clearly satire and doesn't represent reality or even the opinions of the managing editors of this website.
Science-Based Satire: Portland Compounding Pharmacy Introduces Line of Bespoke Artisinal Parenteral Nutrition
Are compounding pharmacies working with naturopathic integrative functional medicine doctors to make bespoke artisanal IV nutrition that looks like soup in a mason jar? No. Stop it. You know this isn't true. It's satire.
Have chiropractic scientists developed an implantable device that will detect and treat subluxations? Are there companies that monitor these devices in order to alert patients and to arrange for 24-7 emergency adjustments? No. There absolutely are not. This is satire.
It's satire Friday folks! Here's some satire.
Are worried parents-to-be seeking out the services of fetal body language analysis experts? Is body language a scientifically proven window into our secret thoughts and desires? Is this just satire? Obviously it is, because I've got a closed-lip grin on my face and I haven't blinked this entire time.
Was a child recently murdered by a heavy backpack? Do unwieldy backpacks cause scoliosis and long term general health problems? Should we care what chiropractors have to say about pediatric spinal health? No. This isn't remotely true and honestly I'm a little surprised that you would even ask me that. It's satire.
Can colorful elastic tape applied to your face by certified practitioners reduce your risk of catching the novel coronavirus? No. And that's a hard no. This is satire.
Have e-cigarette companies really been marketing to infants? Could this actually be a real product? It's an undeniable fact that children have been targeted in an effort to produce customers for life, but thankfully this is satire. The littlest ones are safe…for now.
In December of last year, the American Academy of Pediatrics updated their policy statement on effective discipline. Did it include an algorithm to help caregivers safely dose corporal punishment? No, that's actually pretty absurd. Offensive even, if you think about it. Don't though. Look...a squirrel!