Recently I have seen numerous ads for patches that can be applied to the skin to relieve pain. The descriptions are energy medicine nonsense. Imaginative and entertaining, but not to be believed.
The Luminas Patch is charged with the energetic signatures of over 200 natural remedies known to reduce inflammation, from willow bark to curcumin. Your body induces the flow of energy from the patch, choosing which electrons it needs to reduce inflammation. The patches contain no active ingredients, because they are charged with electrons captured from the 200 substances. Each patch contains 5.2 x 10^19 molecular structures, each with 2 oxygen polar bonding areas capable of holding a targeted, host electron, creating a total possible charging capacity equal to 10.4 x 10^19 host electrons. After considering the average transmission field voltage of humans (200 micro volts) we can calculate the relative capacity, per square inch of patch, at 333 Pico Farads. The website claims it took advantage of “revolutions in quantum theory”. David Gorski made fun of these claims in his Respectful Insolence blog.
He says “Somewhere, far back in the recesses of my mind and buried in the mists of time from decades ago, my knowledge from my undergraduate chemistry degree and the additional advanced physics courses stirred—and then screamed!”
The “evidence” they provide to prove that Luminas is effective consists of before-and-after thermography images, with no standardization and no controls. Thermography is notoriously unreliable and images are affected by changes in room temperature and removal of clothing. The images they offer are pretty pictures but are scientifically meaningless.
Signal Relief uses neuro capacitative coupling technology to relieve pain by interfering with the body’s electrical signals and clearing communication. Each device contains billions of micro-nano capacitors. A capacitor is a small particle that conducts electricity and interacts with your body’s natural electricity. The technology was originally developed for the United States Navy SEALS, which used the system to clear static and enhance reception for communication devices. Apparently, one Signal Relief device is all you will ever need; it keeps working forever and only the adhesive patches will need to be replaced. It needn’t touch the skin; it can be applied to clothing. It costs $120 to $140. It doesn’t work for everybody, but you can try it for 30 days and get a full refund if it doesn’t completely relieve your pain. It works nearly instantly to relieve pain.
Kailo patches use a patented technology; an array of billions of charged nanocapacitors that act as a bioantenna designed to assist the body in clear communication and turn down the volume on your pain in seconds. The strength of the body’s electrical field allows Kailo to target the pain when placed on your skin. The patch tells the brain what it needs to know to stop the pain. The patches can be used over and over. No side effects have been reported.
It would be a waste of time to critique each of these claims. You can judge for yourselves. You may laugh. You may scream. But if you have any knowledge of science, you will see that this pseudoscientific language is gibberish. It will raise all sorts of questions. Questions that the sellers of these patches have no answers for. In his article, David Gorski called for a randomized controlled trial of the Luminas patch versus an identical patch that wasn’t infused with the magic electrony goodness of the Luminas patch. The sellers know very well what such a trial would show, so they’re not about to do one.
Conclusion: No science here. If you value truth and reality, you can disregard these ads. And yet…customers are buying these products! It boggles the mind.